So it’s the end OF TB Sookie and Eric stroll off to a lake where the silver moon was bright and romantic and the trees dance and make sensual music while they did it repeatedly on the wet grass until the sun came up and he didn’t fry because having sex with a a faae that long makes you immune to sun shine and Bill died a horrible but justifiable death with screams and Jesus Noooooossss and everyone dies except LALA because bitch be fabulous and what not and Pam move to Jersey to find out who the hell tis Snookie bitch is and then eats her (no not that way) and Bon Temps only have unicorns and care bears and rainbows and sprinkles. Throw in some dwarfs and elves and it Basically LOTR Bon temps style.
Say way that’s not what happen last night, shit I must still be in a dream, I actually prefer that better so that leads into my conclusion. I love Eric but it’s times like these when you cut your losses and move on sadly. I cut my loyalty to Eric Northman but forge my bond stronger to Alexander Skarsgård. Time to put away fictional characters that’s not doing it for me anymore.
Cause lawd. Bill and Nora Mmm hmm yeah saw that they would be carried on in Season 6. They’re going to be the bane of my existence if I continue with tis show tho. Maybe it was because I came into tis season half ass and not caring. Nope, Nah that’s not it. The writing sucks. Still say the writers are out of their Element. Still need writers with a hard on for Sups just saying.
When I was a kid growing up I was a tom boy, still am in certain things you don’t lose your deep roots that easily. But I use to hangs with my brothers a lot. Got a lot of scars to prove it. But anyways it’s not about my wild side it about my TV history side. My brothers are lots older than I am that meant they were allowed to do more awesome things which I wasn’t because I was little and what not. Like staying up late and watching horror/sci fi / fantasy etc etc.
My brothers were cool, when my mom would fall asleep, bless her like clock work. My brothers would let me watch horror movies and etc with them and not tell my mom. It not like I would watch it comfortably mind you. I was in the fear that my mom would wake up to get stuff or go pee and I’d get busted and when my mom bust you you busted. So anyways besides the intensity of the viewing. I would watch Vampire movies you name it I have seen it, Star Wars, Trek, Bond, elm street, Halloween etc.
Not that the experience didn’t terrorized my dreams, sometimes I had a hard time falling asleep and sometimes my evil big brother would laugh at my suffering, because he could be a fucking dickhead and I would tell him he was too. But my poor sister she felt it the most. I would wake her up out of her deep sleep she didn’t stay up it wasn’t her thing. I would wake her up and say did you hear that. No she would say. Did you see that? No, let me sleep. Omg what was that?! You need to stop she would say. Good times.
So my point, I have one. I can’t drink the TB milk anymore because it is stealing my dreams and raping my fiction history (yes i said rape, tis show is violating me) So it best to leave it the fuck alone I get no joy from it just annoyance.
Like Bill I guess his name has changeth now, I don’t see tis being any better that Queen Beehl, it’s funny that for Beehl to succeed he has to kill/ betray a woman. You have a problem with women and power Ball. I feel you need to air shit out. So that alone I not cool with. They have FORCED Beehl to power and with that comes great annoyance, which their writing skills wouldn’t be able to pan out. Tis is a pretty high level they gave him. I don’t see how they can go to 7 after tis supreme forced power on a Vamp.
Sookie already laps into Beeeeeeeehhhhhl I love you and you pure and what ever not and Eric just there like a champ. Okay. I just can’t, you want me to watch another 12 ep of that shit. HELL TO THE FUCKING N. TO THE NAH. CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT’S WHERE THEY ARE GOING WITH THIS SHIT.
Sookie is going to be like he still good, it beehl he is the most excellent of human beings. I have to save him and Eric be like Sookie I love you, love me back, please. I be like I need to stake my TV and screen and iPad. So no to that shit, you know it coming like too much sugar to a diabetic. Causing me to have a violent reaction.
Lets start with the stuff. I did like. There were a few that mostly around Eric. (Goddess of obviousness)
okay so it positively sinful that I find Eric with Vamp goo all over his face and be like that is sexy as fucking hell. it’s kinda disturbing, it’s disturbs me a lot. But is fucking hot. Le Swoon. His fangs tho. So weird when I was a kid I loved Weres more than Vamps. Always found them most excellent and awesome than Vamps. While I thought Vamps were alright and cool in some aspects. Weres were my thing. I love wolves and full moon so there could be something in that. Eric kinda switch it for me now I am just left with despair of how they fuck with his Character so much I just CAN NOT.
Anyways back to the good stuff.
Sup boo boo, that’s how I would greet Eric/Alex forever and always. Plus a sucking off of his lips and face. That’s just how I roll in my coupling. Tis would be my face to the bedroom is tis way. meow!
Basically tis ep was all about Amerika! You got Arelene and in Amerika we don’t have babies like that and Jason I am Amerikan and I am a fool. I think they should change the show name to next week on AMERIKA!!!
Well I don’t know about amazing Eric but then again I am not in love with Sookie and way to be subtle there with she is MINE. Personally I just pee on my partners like lions do marking territory and all that. Okay, okee I kidds but I do leave a leave a scent that I leave on my partner after rubbing up and down on him. The he’s mine, don’t even with your skank ass bitches, it very strong it blinding, subtle huh. We do what we needs to do. Trust me, you can sense and smell my mark. Just FYI. Oh tis shot is hot. His face tho.
Lala was Margaritas and dipping. Those margaritas looked good. I love fab Lala and I love when Lala dips. Dip it Gurl. Prayer circle that Lala is fabuloso next season. Prayer circle for a lot of things but then again God don’t watch HBO so there is that.
Oh I love Eric and his girls in the Elevator that was sweet and special and Awww Eric has people that he loves that’s all in one place. Makes my TB loathing heart melt a little. But I love family bonding so that always gets me. (right in the feels) But his sister is cray and her story is still Lame and her shit is suspect That Warlow shit I ain’t buying either and I am not drinking her milk.
The only thing I would like to see happen is her introduction to a stake. Preferable by Sookie that would be gem.
Sookie: Het Nora, new character.
Throw stake at annoying fake, crazy, suspect sister that has no history but they forced into my face which all of sudden has redeeming qualities that I don’t see except for Eric because he is the only one that watches the TB and I don’t need to see to believe but AB writers tell me it is so. So I have to swallow it. (hell to fucking nah)
Sookie: Stake meet Nora.
I am gonna need her to do it in front of Eric too. Yeah I am gonna need Sookie to kill a lot of people next season. She could start with her.
I know you need to stir things up in a story but these plots are NOT stirring they are just bitch slaps in the face and no ones bitches slaps me in the face. NO FUCKIN ONE.
So that was the end of the good stuff.
Oh Can the faees just jump off a cliff while taking their story lines with them. (that babies scene was cute as shit tho, but I love babies so that works for me, the babies not the story as stated faees and cliff jump off it thanks.)
Pam and Teara. Okay I saw that coming but sadly I wanted it to play out differently but tis is my feeling about TB in general.
Tis is the new in my face forced I can’t deal okay, I would have like to see Pam be a Mother first to Teara than lets fuck it out. They would have both learned something since Pam has a problem with feelings and showing them and Teara never got much feels from her mama or had a mother. It would have been nice if they were first mother/ daughter bond and shit but TB is just tits and ass and fucking now. I leave you all to it.
while were talking about fucking why does everyone in/on tis show have to be GAY! Huh Alan Ball. I mean at some point I thought Beehl and Eric would have fuck it out, their lost and comfort each in some basement because Alan could write and wanted it. But Then I saw that the Eric fucking scenes went to Nora for no reason other than it’s not TV it’s HBO and TB is all tits and ass and fucking.
I mean Pam and Teara don’t work, no chemistry yet. Kristen and Rutina also no chemistry off screen could be because they never worked together so there is no bond to create lust. Like Beehl and Eric I could see it because I could see Alex and Stephen getting it on in real life.
Alex and Stephen Scenario.
Two of them drinking because you know men don’t talk about their feelings unless beer/ alcohol is involved.
After more than a couple.
Alex: Stephen! Drunk as a skunk they both are.
Stephen: Alex have I ever told you that you are beautiful.
Alex: (blushing, then smiles) Awww you think so?
Stephen: Yeah you are,
Alex: Stephen, Stephen I love you man, gives him a drunk hug.
Alex: (pulls self away) Stephen have I ever told you I am in love with your accent. It’s sexy.
Stephen: (burps) Aww thanks.
For some weird yet timely reason tis song would be playing in the background.
They both look into each others eyes and awkward sexually tension shows up.
Anna: Stephen, Stephen where are you? You upstairs?
Anna goes upstairs to find out after visiting her folks for the weekend with the babies and sees two grow ass nekkid men in very weird position
Stephen and Alex opens their eyes and sees Anna and sees themselves.
i would pop up out of now where like a mysterious fog while heavily preggers
Me: mmmm, mhhmm Yeah I saw tis coming somewhere between Season 5 ep summin.
Alex: Stephen could you take your finger out my ass.
Stephen: Umm Sorry
Me: Okay I am gonna need someone to help me down the stairs because going down is way more difficult than going up. Just saying Alex could ya, free ball or with pants I just some need help.
Alex: (free balling his way to me because we all have seen it.) Okay baby.
Me: So you good now, got it out of your system?
Alex: I don’t know (dazed and confused) I don’t remember much other than that song
Me: Okay, figure it out, because I can’t compete with dicks. I don’t have a masters in that.
Anna going downstairs unfazed. I worked on TB for 7 years so I saw that coming.
Me: I watch it for 5 seasons so I saw it coming. LMFAO!! It could happen tho.
I wonder tho will Eric fuck his sister again now that’s Sookie is back because you know all she be talking about now is Beehl so good and Beehl is kind and he is lost and I have to help him while Eric is standing there all sad and dying inside. Will he fuck his sister now to release that pain that weekly reject that the writers like to slap him with because it’s great writing you know. I mean that’s what she is there for Nora right fuck Eric that’s how they communicate haha. Beacause I still don’t know shit about her, apparently she has no bonds to anything. Makes it worst. I am sure I will hear about it tho.
Beehl oh Beehl I still loathe your ass and stealing the Terminator moves was not cool. Leave it to TB but make great TV Lame. Did you laugh when it happen cause I think I pull something. It was that ridiculous and when he drink it. I saw the rising coming.
Okay calm down Eric no need to shout at me.(it fucking hawt btw, I know issues I have them) I would stake it tho, before it finds out what it can do. But that would mean how would they drag the fuck out of season 6. Oh yeah that Lameo I mean Warlow crap too. Whooo de fucking doooo more hype. BTW Sookie face is fucking PRICELESS. Love it so much. I love Anna. I do I can’t stand Sookie dumb ass tho.
Thanks for the heads up Eric but I am just going to strut myself out of tis seasons and leave you all to it. I CAN NOT. TIS SHOW IS ASKING WAY TOO MUCH FROM ME WITHOUT GIVING SHIT BACK OR TO.. MY HUMANITY.
Hopefully I will be doing better people (Alexander) and things so I don’t have time to even be curious. While watching Alex’s movies. So as the great poetic say:
PS because I am a fickle bitch, the only way I am back on board tis mess is if they make Eric more fucking VIKING. Eric hasn’t been viking since Season 2 flashback.
I am gonna need more Viking Eric on my TV. Because Eric didn’t even kill enough people. NOT EVEN. I am gonna need More fucking Flashbacks, more fucking History, more viking sword fighting. More Long boats, more, just more fucking VIKING. You can’t call him a viking with visual stating that shit. That’s the only way on back on tis shit. I think it’s time they show me some viking shit. GOD fucking dammit. VIKING ERIC FOR SEASON 6.
Oh tis was disturbingly hot.
Go make your Mula tho boo boo kitty.