So it’s almost Alexander Johan Hjalmar Skarsgård Burday. Whatcha want Askars?!

Okay not really so soon in a couple of weeks but hey It’s Olympic opening day and I would like to be all over him like I was in training for the next one. But okay that’s another post. I did however found tis nostalgic piece from a few years back.

In Bed With … Alexander Skarsgard (tis should be my message on my answering machine and a pic should be on my FB profile)

Kiki TSeptember 18, 2009
// guys
 I still don’t know how or why I would get out of bed in the morning that would lead back into the nighttime. Christ!


 Yes he has great vital signs.
 August 25, 1976, Stockholm, Sweden
Sun: Virgo
Moon: Virgo
Mercury: Virgo
Venus: Virgo
Mars: Libra

I don’t know how much of tis is true but lets play for the fun of him. I have my idea of certain things tho.

Love Style:

Alex is a man on a mission. He has a no-nonsense approach to life and in love — if he were a fashion style, he would be straight-up utilitarian. He’s not out for crazy sex (Really I am kinda sad, But I still think he is a kinky perv tho) with hookers spanking him senseless (that’s good to know, I wouldn’t spank him senseless tho what would be the point of that?!) in random trashed hotel rooms filled with pills and leather. No, this is the guy that is all about love in the traditional sense and having relationships in a super-efficient way. He wants a partnership that works as a team for all the conventional aspects of life — a woman to go to the movies with, someone to come home to, discuss world issues with, etc. No, he’s not the most romantic, (aww, he isn’t. Sad face, he can learn tho I can teach him.)n’t he’s definitely loyal. (I can see that, one of the things that draws me to him repeatedly)What he lacks in excitement, he makes for in service, as he is the man that would like to be a tad pussy-whipped. It’s more secure for him to be in a situation where he is given direction, rather than being the one dispensing it.

Sex Style:

Alex gets off on getting his woman off. (ummm, interesting, ponders further while opening pages to kama sutra) He feels at his best when he knows his actions have results. Chances are he takes the time to really understand his lover’s body and is determined to perfect his ways in pleasing her.(tis would be excellent news, the getting to know, lawd knows I want to get to know his) This is good news for bossy chicks that just want to get some loving,(Hey lady I am equal partner okay I like to give as much as I get, there is no fun in being the only one getting pleasure, look down on picture in Kama sutra book, oh yeah) without paying the piper — as he does well as the subordinate. While that can aggravate others who are into more equality, the bottom line is he does need a stronger hand to guide him. But no matter what the circumstance, the good thing about him is that he never quits. Although he can be a bit bland in his own style, he will make sure each adventure ends with a bang.

His Type:

What is good for Alex and what is his type are most likely vastly different. Virgo men like fixing people (ummm, ponders further, can see that tho) and, as most of you know, that never ends well. (tis is truth) Yes, this gives him a bit of superior attitude in a relationship, as he will think he has the answers, but if he happens to hook up with a woman that can hold her own, that might be the shock to his system that he needs (umm, offers self for services)— as his need to be of service will have to get redefined. If a woman can charge his mental batteries with riveting conversation that stops him dead in his tracks, then that is the woman for him. However, chances are he opts for the easy route most of the time, opting for women he can serve in a safe way — as in being a daddy to or, at the very least, a consistent sex slave. It will take time and effort for him to build up his ego to have a woman that he has to push himself to impress,(move faster boo boo, don’t wait too long, expiration date and all that) but once he gets there, he will find the perfection he craves.

EITHER ways his BURDAY  is coming up and what do I have to offer him. He has more money and fame than I do. Not that it matters to me, but hey some people need that stuff. I can however buy him A  beer (hey he is swedish he could break my bank, plus I don’t ever want him drunk, sober and hot please. TACK!)  and Ice cream and a lolly. (see what I did there, no?! move along) Then I would offer mahself with fancy wrapping paper and ribbons. Some may say cheap, some may say creative. I say exciting.

So I saw these today too, The day keeps getting better. Lawd how could I have not seen tis. He is def down with the Swirl. His hands are everywhere is going, going getting it done.  He is in-between the dress and stroking the kitty Kat meow! Then he squeezes It’s hot fucking hawt. Fuck pressing pause and screen caps. Gifs is where it motherfucking at.

Aww he big hands def knows how to work its way around. Lawd I might pass out precise visual of how it should start off. It’s very hot. How come my eyes are beholding it now. I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS ALL OVER IT LIKE TIS and I have seen it many times.

EVERYTHING COMES IN ITS OWN TIME. Maybe I needed to see tis now. I don’t know why tho. Sexual frustrations of Him. I already have them.

 Gawd his hands are just all over the boobage. Lawd he needs to get his hands over here. Ugh my life. Not a great way to go into the weekend. It’s hawt tho.

As I saaid tho, I offer mahself as his burday present. I am sure we both be happy with the gifts I be bearing…my loins.


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